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The LeBaron family is notorious for putting hits out on people. Brian Hales, via Wikipedia. Some of the members of the latter, in fact, murdered the head of one of the largest fundamentalist polygamist churches, a guy named Rulon Allred.

A man named Gerald Peterson Sr. Allred's son, Owen, wasn't about to be denied his inheritance by some ghost story. He fought back and took most of his dad's church.

But a small chunk splintered off with Peterson, and that's how my church -- the Righteous Branch -- began.

In , the mainstream church the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or LDS allowed black people to be ordained for the first time, which convinced my father that the church had lost its way "Everyone knows the real Jesus was in favor of polygamy and was a bitter racist!

He sought out one of the fundamentalist sects that agreed with him on that issue and that would let him collect a bunch of hot, young wives. Yeah, let's be frank here: my father's true motivation was church-sanctioned adultery.

He wanted to find wives who were younger and skinnier than my mom, so he could add babies to them. At one point before we joined, he even left my mom to pursue a much younger woman, convinced he'd been called to it like a sacred task.

It was quite a disappointment to him when he finally got assigned his first official second wife when I was about She was about his age, postmenopausal, and overweight -- which is the downside of having some old dude choose for you I'll get into the disturbing reason he got stuck with her in a moment.

Our wedding ceremony took place in Bill's cousin's family room. My father officiated, and the first wife had to give her blessing.

When it was done, he kissed me on the cheek and we were married. There was a wedding party after -- I was excited.

I really wanted to sit next to my husband. But his wife was on one side, his daughter on the other, and they didn't make any room for me.

They also made it clear I wouldn't be allowed to take pictures alone with him, only with the family. That night I slept on the living room floor.

He squeezed my shoulder before going to bed with his wife, and that was my wedding night. Let's pause here: raise your hand if you're a male who thought plural marriage was a sexy, nightly threesome?

Well, I didn't kiss my husband for more than a month. Remember when I said the current wife wasn't exactly on board with this arrangement?

Well, let's just say that Bill slept in my room the following week, but we just slept in the same bed -- no intimacy, certainly not sex.

According to our church, we weren't actually married until it was consummated, and it took five months for that to happen. When it did, well The night before, Beth had told me that Bill would come to my room early the next morning to do the deed he'd have to leave my room before the kids woke up, she said.

He came in, we prayed and dedicated the room to the lord, then we stripped down to our long garments yes, we wore "magic underwear" -- they were like long underwear with the crotch open from the navel around to the small of the back and ties across the front.

We spent less than 10 minutes on the actual act, and he didn't even kiss me, because he had a cold sore.

When it was over, he lay next to me for five minutes while I cried, then went back to bed with Beth. There were periods when Beth would have such trouble coping with me that she'd cut me off from all interaction with Bill unless she or the kids were around.

I got depressed and cried myself to sleep every night. I lost an unhealthy amount of weight. Eventually, I decided that if I could have a baby I'd be fine -- that was my whole reason for getting married anyway.

I thought if I had a child I could stay in the marriage and focus all of my love on my baby, because I sure as hell couldn't focus it on my husband.

So, I told them I wanted to have a baby, that it was my right as his wife. Want to guess how that went? Bill came back a week later and said, "My family is falling apart, and you're the reason why.

He performed a ceremony, and I moved out the following day. That was that. I came out of the marriage a shell of a human being.

Most fundamentalist polygamist sects don't really acknowledge depression; you don't get medication or therapy -- you just pray that God will help you through it and "if your faith is strong enough," he will.

If you remain depressed, it must mean your faith is weak, which gives you more reason to be depressed. Clearly what I needed, according to the church, was to be bundled into another marriage.

So, after a tough few months, my sister and her husband came to me and said I should marry her husband and be part of their family.

This isn't unusual: her husband had a brother married to three sisters. They call us sister-wives, which is supposed to symbolize how tight the relationship between plural wives should be.

In reality, men use the term as an excuse, figuring, "Hell, the word 'sister' is right there -- why not just fuck the whole family?

I agreed, because I was too broken and depressed to say no. It lasted a week before I realized there was no way I could stay.

It turned out the church leadership had again gone behind my back to encourage my brother-in-law and sister to make that offer.

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Lookfantastic - Discount codes. This is uncomfortable for me. The idea that people shouldn't talk during sex is false and harmful.

People should feel at ease to talk during sex about what is happening to either partner. If you feel nervous to talk during sex, try telling your partner you are nervous to give verbal feedback during sex but you would like to try, and hopefully they will be supportive and encouraging.

Personally, I don't think talking during sex is optional. Not that you have to talk the whole time, or even talk every time, but you have to be able to speak up about your experience while it's happening.

Some of these body movements are involuntary. For example, some spasming during orgasm is normal and helps the other person to know that climax was just achieved - which also means that partner is about to get very sensitive to the touch.

Sometimes movements are somewhere between involuntary and intentional - you may start thrusting your hips without realizing you are doing it, and then it feels good and you continue.

But it is also important to use intentional actions to communicate during sex. Maybe your partner's finger isn't in exactly the right spot - you can guide it to the right place.

Maybe the woman is ready for deeper penetration, she can wrap her legs around and pull him in, or thrust her hips at him. Maybe you would like a turn on top - try physically signaling to trade places.

Maybe you would like a turn underneath - same idea. Sometimes you can physically signal something you want by doing the equivalent to your partner, like if you want your nipples played with, you can play with your partner's nipples.

Obviously, you need to pay attention while you do this to make sure everything is okay with your partner. I hope all of this gives you some idea of the methods and importance of communication before, after, and especially during sex.

There's no mind reading in sex or at any other time. Nonverbal communication is essential, but it is not a substitute for verbal communication, which is even more essential.

Communicate about your sexual communication, and communicate before, during, and after sex, about sex, and about how each of you feels.

This is probably the best way to learn how to have a fulfilling sex life. Labels: anal , Christian , communication , consent , foreplay , intercourse , Mormon , oral sex , orgasm , positions.

Monday, June 25, Starting up again. I haven't posted on this in a long time. Truthfully, I forgot about it. But I remembered it the other day, and thought I should add to it.

I have more thoughts on intimacy and sex and have learned a lot since I last posted. Here we go! In our church, we become pretty familiar with the word stewardship.

It means you have a right to receive revelation for whatever it is you have stewardship over. In my opinion, which is based off of what I have read from conference talks, church publications, etc.

Others can give advice, but God gives revelation, where needed and asked for, to the husband and the wife - not to others.

In thinking about what's okay and what's not for married sex, my rule of thumb is: revelation. There's a quote that floats around almost as much as the year-old menace to society, that is, "if a person is engaged in a practice which troubles him enough to ask about it, he should discontinue it.

Consider this: someone of another faith is thinking about joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They act on this line of though by attending the church and taking the missionary discussions.

They decide to ask about whether or not this is the right thing to do. They ask Heavenly Father. Does the fact that they want to ask mean they should discontinue those things?

Clearly, this is not a universal truth, and I think a better way to say it might be something along the lines of, "if it makes you feel guilty and want to repent, you should probably not do it.

So, for example, when my husband and I were engaged, the topic of oral sex came up. I had wondered about whether it was okay, and the quotation I showed above struck me hard as "maybe that means I shouldn't even think about this.

I did like the idea of it and wanted to try it. I didn't feel particularly bad about it, only worried that that quotation would condemn me.

In the end, we decided that since we both felt comfortable with the idea, we should pray about it, and see what Heavenly Father thought.

After praying, I felt a lot better, and the idea came to me that we could try it once, and if either of us felt guilty or dirty afterwards, we should not do it again.

But if we both felt good and loved and happy, it would be fine. Guess what? It was the second thing in our case. On the other hand, we will probably never try anal sex, because I am uncomfortable with the idea.

I don't need to pray about it, I know I don't want to do it. And if either husband or wife feels uncomfortable with a certain practice, it might be best to not do it.

This is, of course, not a universal truth either - but I believe it applies in many circumstances regarding sex.

As long as it isn't taken to the extreme, like "sex makes me uncomfortable, so let's never have it. Labels: anal , Mormon , oral sex , prayer , revelation , spirit , stewardship.

Something that I've wanted to share since I started this blog is my view on oral stimulation or oral sex. Perhaps some of you have seen or heard about the letter from the First Presidency stating that they the First Presidency interpreted oral sex as "an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice.

My understanding insofar as I have read is that in response to this letter, many bishops began asking married members if they engaged in oral sex and told them not to.

Probably in response to members letters, the First Presidency then issued another letter to bishops, essentially telling them not to inquire about the private matters of the bedroom.

I have found a copy of the first letter and have even had a bishop show it to me almost 30 years after it was sent out. That bishop had been a bishop at the time that letter was written, but was released before the second letter came out in October of the same year, so he didn't know that the next letter basically said "don't inquire into married members bedrooms!

So here's what I think: If a man demands that his wife give him oral sex, and she does not feel good about it, it's definitely wrong.

Same this vice versa, if the wife demands it and the husband is uncomfortable with it. However, in general, I read that a spiritually in-tune couple can pray about their sex life and find out for themselves what is okay and what's not.

Having prayed about it with my husband, I feel it's okay for us to do. That being said, I don't think it should take the place of regular sex, at least not often.

I also think it's something that should be given, not taken. My husband doesn't request it, but I occasionally orally stimulate him, when I'm feeling like it.

The reverse is also true. I can't tell you how much it makes me know he loves me. It's about love for us, not lust. It's about making the person we love the very most feel so incredibly amazing.

I will say though that I generally will not orally stimulate him to orgasm because I prefer to have sex afterwards, and it doesn't work so well if he's already climaxed.

On the other hand, he will frequently orally stimulate me to orgasm, because that really doesn't get in the way of us having sex. It usually just makes me want it more.

So, in summary, I think oral sex only makes sense if both husband and wife are comfortable with it, and if it's given as a gift to say I love you, and doesn't completely replace intercourse.

Along with being commanded to be one flesh and cleave unto each other which I think oral sex can help accomplish , we were also commanded to multiply and replenish the earth which it certainly can't - but also, it's just super nice to end up with our bodies entwined and enjoying, together, the experience of afterglow.

Labels: doctrine , first presidency , intercourse , LDS , letter , Mormon , oral sex. My not-so-sister site. I was having a discussion with my husband the other day and he had been talking with one of his friends about this blog and my purpose in creating it.

His friend shared another blog with him which he then shared with me - I was pretty excited at first because it was another Mormon sex blog, the very thing I had been lamenting for its nonexistence.

However, when I read it, I realized it was not really what I was looking for. The kindest way I could put it is that it was a lot more liberal than my blog.

Because of this blog run-in, which was almost similar to mine but really not, it got me thinking about how potentially narrow my audience is, not least because I have no idea how to advertise an anonymous blog.

But if a blog like that is attracting visitors, it reminded me that I am possibly on the more conservative side of the LDS religion.

I disagree with this stance. I intend to write a whole post on it in the future, but for now I will say that my husband and I don't do it, and I can see it possibly being okay in some marital relationships as part of foreplay, but I don't view it as okay as a solo endeavor.

Okay, so most of the rest of it was littler than that. Like, the bloggers there are several chose as pennames, names of Joseph Smith's wives.

Seemed kind of like a little satirical nod to polygamy, which I don't think of as very funny. It's a pretty serious thing and I don't really understand it, so I don't laugh at it.

Also, they had linked to a satirical blog from the point of view of an unrealistically strict stake president, which bordered on anti-Mormon.

At first I found it slightly funny until I realized that it was making fun of some things I really believe are God's laws. Like don't watch pornography.

The more I read from the blog, the more negative my attitude became and I finally collapsed into bed with overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, etc.

I told my husband I would not be reading that blog again, and he held me and agreed that that would be a good idea. So while at first it seemed like "oh!

I don't have to write this blog, it's been written already! And that I'd like to keep it respectful and doctrine-based, not worldly-view based.

Of course everything will be based on my interpretations, but I won't make fun of you for your views even if they don't match up with mine.

Labels: doctrine , LDS , masturbation , Mormon , polygamy , pornography , sex , sister site. Thursday, September 22, Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

One of the reasons I started this blog is because sex was on my mind. I felt like we were somehow missing out on something because I felt that sex should be more enjoyable than it was.

And I didn't have any idea who to talk to about that.

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